Sunday, September 18, 2011

I'm not missing, just buried.

Well, this past couple of weeks have been exhausting, to say the least. Everyone told us we would be exhausted, but I guess I didn't really expect how tired I would be. For me, it's been hard to balance a full time job in the schools with full time classwork. I've been annoyed at simple time-wasters in ways I usually wouldn't; posting things to Blackboard aggravates me to no end, traffic is interminable.

I guess a good example of the stress I've been feeling is my reaction to something small that Main Street Realty did this week. We used to have a beautiful grassy spot outside of our window, with flowers in it. We chose this particular apartment for the windows and for that grassy spot. I loved having our own private green space right outside of our window, especially in the manicured atmosphere of the recently gentrified Bottom. I came home from school and class on Thursday--I got up at 5:45 a.m. to finish a lesson plan, was teaching/observing till 2:15, faculty meeting till 3:00, VCU classes from 4:00-7:00p.m.--and then came home to find that they had put grass killer on the spot. It's now a brown patch. I was so upset at our lack of autonomy. That we have to live here. That I have to work from 6am to 7pm. I was definitely at a low point.

So one of the reasons I haven't written on this blog is: should I just write about the "high points" of this program? Or should I be real and write about the frustration I felt coming home after that long day, hungry and tired, and having something so small set me off? I think it's good to be honest about the highs and lows of RTR.

Being in the schools does make RTR worth it. I've already received a lot of valuable experience. After talking to some of the regular Master's students about how much observation / teaching they do, I've realized how different the residency model is--I've already received more experience in the past two weeks than a Practicum student would. I'll be ready in a year for my own classroom in a way I woudn't have if I had chosen the regular Certificate/Master's program. So it's worth it. I hope I can get settled into this schedule this week.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Cat -

    I'm sorry about the wildflowers outside your window. If I could get away with it, I would never mow my hypothetical, future lawn just so that I could enjoy the beauty.

    I remember we talked about telling the bad with the good a while back. I also believe that we should never be afraid to tell it the way it is – on this blog or elsewhere – because in the end the power of our stories is in the transformation of the imperfect. It is in understanding that which is undesirable and finding that it simply does not compare to that which is ultimately good.